TOP TEN LIST!:
- There is a frog in your shoe and you squish it between your toes then your toe gets broken.
- You meet all these lovely ladies on the internet dating websites and they are all bisexual and intellectual but everyone is lonely and doesn't trust one another so they just look at pictures of each other all the time constantly ranking themselves against each other and writing words to no one but never writing back because there is nobody there anymore. And we have all violated the terms of service. And divorce is the nightmare you choose it to be so you better getting fucking the green green grass on the otherside in your mind and forget where you are today.
- Sir, you are only 34 years old which means you could still be the president of the Queen and ride her down that red-carpet in a lambour-ghini bikini.
- Radiohead is about the radio in your head but since the internet is dead then we all sleep along again.
- Spoon with your enemies. Late at night sneak into their army encampment and curl up behind and cuddle them. You are not wearing any pants and neither are they. But you don't fuck, that is a rule. And in the morning you look away, silent from their nakedness.
- These girls fall like dominoes. Into your lap. Because you are all fucked up watching youtube videos. MTV and TV watching teenagers from the 1980s who ignored their parents... that was in the next 21st century smartphone generation grandpa. Crush some puss. Online. Beep boop is all that new music.
- I collect their underwear and suck it clean inside of my mouth hole. But the cooking channel has a competition and I didn't sniff and do it as well. Strange. But the cooking show is showing me that I am not really perverted enough for you to be reading my blog.
- The bicycle factory and all the badly formed front derailleurs.
- There is no time and that will never change but we do have more garbage to fill it up than we ever did before.
- Spoons can be mended.
Baby shower. BABIES are cute.