So this is the story of Fred and Kathy or Paris Franks and Bobo. Bobo was a business man from North Demaskas which is in the middle hiterlands of Ahmericah. Kathy was his wife. She was a good wife and a good property investment for him. She and he were driving in their Suburbanator G5 i86 Town Jeep Car that is Built Ford Tough™.
Paris Gypsum was sitting there in the passenger seat of course. Bobo would never tolerate having a woman driver. They were driving along the North Arkansas Way Motorway Pike which goes from Wyoming to Fort Lauderdale. This was their daily commute and it lasted 3.6 hours each way so of course they were deeply involved in their business conversation. Even though Fred and Kathy could not be equals in the realm of Driving the Car command responsibilities, they were equal business parteners. The business they worked at was book publishing, which is a tough business. But they were tough folk, Wilma and Jim, they had entered the information age with a bang and a lot of their business on the AOL Internet™ [AOL invented the internet]
They actually had a built in desk for Kathy to work at there in the passenger side of the G4 car they were piloting at 125km/hr [or 85 Ahmericahnn Miles]. The desk was very nice and made of burl walnut inlay of the plastic vinyl fold out from the dashboard. It had 6 cup holders and these were used for the coffees that Bobo and Wilma would be drinking. They each had 3 coffees each: Americano, Expresso and Frappachino. they had little heaters underneath each of the cups which were used to keep the coffee freashly brewed™ until they were ready to drink them, one per hour, to sustain them for the entirely long car ride.
Kathy was working there with her laptop, the newest Pentium 286 IBM Amiga Archiatecture™
"Fredly, do you think the budget balance sheets will be balanced in the report to our finacial stockholders this quarterly term?"
"Well Deary Dear Sweet Paris, I sure as hell hope so otherwise I will get the can and no longer be the CEO of this here enterprise that you and I have started."
"OK Bobo, I know that as well as you do. However, what I think this means is that we are going to really have to lean heavily on the new book in the next stock report. If we can get some top sales when we publish this new book then that will wow the investors and I might even get a raise."
"Yes Deary Sweet, getting you, the Senior Vice President of this company a raise would be very important and necessary for all of us. Everyday when I go to work, while i drive this long long 3.6 hour commute just to get to work and back, well it is kind of Shitty..."
She cut in, "Now Bobo, I..."
But he interrupted her to continue.
"Wilma, You know what I meant to say, dear, I didn't mean to say that."
"Missus Gypsum, I think you know this is about little Billy Bob, our cute orphaned orangatang, he is a cripple and we are his parent. I so dearly wish the world were a different place and i didn't have to spend all of my life in this damn publishing business and driving for hours and hours and hours. Sometimes i worry that we will miss little Billy Bob growing up and all the precious KodakFuji Moments™ that we could be spending together. But, Alas, that is the nature of publishing in the modern world, it is a dog eat dog world out there and you gotta fight to survive."
There was a long pause and he stared off into the distance. They had a lot of long silences during their commute - just staring off into the big open expanses of blue green sky. It was a beautiful desert landscape out here in Nebraska - Big Sky Country™ as the locals liked to call it and was printed on every state issued licence plate. This is probabbly what made the long commute terrible, the sublime beauty of the desert, so flat as far as the eye could see, just a tiny strip of empty open road disappearing off into the distance. Fredly could just stare off into that vanishing point of the road like it was the nexus of nirvana, Heavens dark light at the end of the bright tunnel. He didn't really like the long drive piloting the boat down the nevereding speedway all that much. But he had grown fond of some of the habits he picked up and he was comfortable now after 45 years of doing the same thing every day, 4 days a week, 53 weeks a year. On Fridays he would telecommute from his home office and fax the AOL/Vivendi/Internet™ his business reports. This gave him the opportunity to spead time at home with the little monkey named Billy Bob that Rita and he were rasing as their only child.
"You know Gretta, that I am doing all because I love you...
And I love the little guy too, that Billy Bob is the apple of my eye. I sorely miss the weekend when it is the weekday."
"The operation." Interjected Wilma in a quivering voice.
"Yes the Operation, Paris. That is why we are doing this work every day. We need to pay for that operation. That is what i keep telling myself everytime I turn the ignition in dread of the long work day. We drive the boat [The G4 PowerFord SUV that they are currently driving, not really a boat, but it does swim] To keep our little Billy Bob afloat! Never forget this is all to pay for his heart transplant operation in November. Without that new heart little Billy Bob will surely die and that would break my poor little heart, and I would die too. We must keep him alive a few more years even though our son is already a 97 year old monkey, the oldest monkey to have ever lived. Because until we reach him with the message of Jesus' Love and convert him down our righteous path then his soul will go to Hades when he dies. We must keep him alive a few more years until we can sucessfully convert him from his heathen ways. Then when he dies a natural death, after so many years of sin, but still with the final all important soul saving repentance and accepting the lord Jesus into his heart while on his deathbed, then he will be saved and go up into heaven on the glorious beam of light! Halleglujah! Halleglujah! We will save the soul of our precious son, the monkey named Billy Bob."
Paris Gypsum finished the thought for her hubby Manfried, they were a close couple:
"When we adopted that sweet little monkey only 33 years ago I knew in my heart that he was very special to Jesus and that we could savee him. It has been a long long journey and there were so many expenses - like those titanium monkey dentures, for our senior citizen monkey son."
"But we can do it Wilma, You and Me, CEO and VP of our own book publishing company, the biggest such company in the entire Southern Midwest of Ahmericah"
"Will just keep on trucking, You and Me, Mr. Concrete and Missus Gypsum Paris, we will make enough money with our new book launch to impress the stockholders and get us a raise and then pay for Billy Bobs monkey heart transplant in November, then we will save him like the good Christians that we are and we will have not suffered through this long long car drive trip every day in vain. Praise Old Glory, Only in AHmericaH, HallejlujaH!" She lovingly responded to her driving husband.
"Hallejujah for Ahmericah, only in the Holy Land of the FREE, Hallelujah!" He piped.
Then he focused in on his driving and Jillian passed him his next coffee and turned off the coffee wramer. Jillian Paris Gypsum looked down at her laptop and started typing again, back to work. They didn't talk much for the next half hour or so, just driving down the beautiful desert highway, passing smaller cars on their way to work.
***
Later that same day, on the way home from work:
"Ahh what a tough day, what a great feeling this warm hottub provides. i am so glad we got it installed in our Lincoln Navigator Car™."
"Yes dear, we just sit back here relaxing and unwinding, and the autopilot computer of the Navigator just does all the sailing. We relax and the car drives itself! What could be better. Really makes the 3.6 hour commute just fly on by and soon we will be home from work again."
Fred Concrete and Kathy Gypsum were reclining, nude, in their heated hottub at the back of the Lincoln TowncarSUV™ and the car was driving itself on autopilot. They had gone through the drive thru for Sushi back in Fort Lauderdale and they were eating their meal with chop sticks while relaxing in the tub. They had a floating hottub table for eating off of. It was made of matching burl walnut and vinyl and had 3 cup holders for coffee with heaters in them. There was a stand with a plug in for the laptop, full TelusADSL™ high speed AOLInternet™ connection but no printer because it was a floating swimming pool table and the printer might get wet. There were also two place mats for eating meals, a chopping knife, little trays for the sushi garnish with Wasabi and Soy Sauce and Fresh Pink Pickled Ginger. Wilma was eating California Roll with crab, avocado and cucumber and Fred was eating BC Roll with Fresh smoked salmon skin wrapped in rice, seaweed and sesame sprikles. They were having a good meal, their favorite Sushi that they always ate on Thursday nights, the last commute of the week. Mr Fred Plywood had just eaten a rather large chunk of green wasabi, that super spicey Japanese horseradish, and he was enjoying the sensation of the burn in his throat and the tears loosening his sinus mucus.
"Fredly my Hubb, what do you really think this book is all about? this next venture is such an important one for us and our monkey, will this book really be good enough to be a best seller and WOW the stockinvestors?" Wilma quiried.
Fred blinked the tears back out of his eyes and tried to regain his compose after the Wasabi hit before responding, "You know dear that it is top secret, the Patent pending the ideas mentioned in this upcoming financial advice book our little monkey wrote for us! So please, lets be careful about talking about it out in the open."
"I guess it is fine here now to discuss the book because it is us here in the hottub and the computer driving the car. Make sure the speakerphone cellular is turned off and I will tell you."
Harriet reached over briefly exposing her nude behind as she leaned out of the hot tub and snapped the off switch on the phone firmly, it was already off but "it never hurts to be too careful." like Freddy Jim would always say. She dropped back into the tub with a splash that gently rocked the floating hotpool dining table and all the contents piled atop: Sushi, condiments, utensils, hot drinks, computer and office stress foam ball.
"I'm all ears Mr. Jim. You know how I love reading get rich quick financial books. I am certain that our monkey has written a bestseller and I have faith in your publishing and editing abilities, but as Senior VP, I do think I deserve a little sneak peak at the hot content of our book before next Saturdays Book Launch at Chapters.caCanadaPost™."
"Of course my lovely wife and business partner, I've only been saving it until it was well edited before sharing the concept with you. I want it to be beautiful and impressive."
"The simple idea of this book, when we get down to it, is that the © which we think stands fof the word Copyright and is used everywhere in business today does not stand for Copyright! That © actually stands for Capitalism. ©apitalism!"
She stared deep into her swirling bubble bath of hot water before responding, "Well imagine that, Franky Concrete, I suppose that is indeed quite a revolutionary idea. I've always known that © was an important icon for business when i ordered that major upgrade of all the computer keyboards in our administrative head offices. I mean that was a major shift in thinking for everyone in the publishing business to do without the letter "W" and replace the key with the "©" symbol. But of course it was well worth it for us because we use the © much more than the W anyways, who really needs that letter anyways? Our stockholders certainly didn't when shares jumped 35% that quarter!"
"Ka Ching!" Exlaimed Willis and he gave Wilma a high five. They had both been key archiatects of the 1951 stock shares turnaround market rally, it had saved the company from going bankrupt. In fact they had modified the keyboards to utilise 4 new standard symbols. The lower case "w" was a ©, the Shift "W" was ™ the upper case D was the ® symbol and lower case "u" changed to PATENT PENDING #. They had saved themselves 19.51 Billion dollars in efficiancy savings that year and had continued to reap millions in royalties from the sales of patented keyboard design: the SuperIP [Intellectual Property] W-less keyboard.
"But of course that sweet little nugget about the ©apitalism not ©opyright connection doesn't get revealed until Chapter 8 of our new book." Continued Fredly.
"Lucky number 8 for the Asian Market, of course." Commiserated Paris, and Willis nodded silently.
"Of course that cunning © business insight cannot have come entirely from our monkey son author's brain, could it Concreto?" Noted Martha. "I do love him like my own and beleive in his abilities to write bestsellers, but can he really think in terms of higher level abstract business analysis? He doesn't yet even have a Christian soul and so I just can't imagine he came up with that on his own. Of course our espiaonage department must have
"Think of all the T shirts with that printed on it that we could sell and engraved coffe mugs and books on tape read by Governor Arnold Swartzenegger!" she mused dreamily.
...The story of SCO and Mircosoft pirating Linux
