The Moon

BEGIN THEDATE

I don't think there are enough teeth in this thing. Go out into the street. Only 40 feet in front of your house, eh. Close your eyes. Then get run over. Because one person is coming to kill you. One and only one person. We are many but they have the big car. We are there in the road to be hit. If we close our eyese. That space is for killing. If you break the traffic safety regulation.

Please wear you seat belt. We don't want you to get hurt. Please turn off the cell phone when you are speeding down the highways. Please pause the movie until the light turns red, then you can see it. Please watch the GPS Google map image using the rear view mirror so you can silmultaneously also notice the road in front of you. Please wait until we have completed all 24 lanes of this highway before you play car driving video games on the dashboard console. Please don't forget to pay your auto insurance on time. Please do not cross at the crosswalk. Please do not get hit by my car. That will scare me. Pedestrians are the real terrorists. Please wear a reflective safety vest when walking on the sidewalk. Please wear a helmet. Please buy a new styrofoam helmet every year to compensate for UV structural decay deficiencies. Please totally freak out about your parking space being inconvenient. Please forget to drive the speed limit. Remember that slow drivers are weak drivers. Remember that smaller cars are for poorer people. Remember that beasts of burden are obsolete and we should not let the cyclists out of the gutter. Please remember that driving backwards, through the city park grass field, is progress. Please do not be such an ass backward cycling nazi from the old fashioned negative-nelly-past (who is just afraid of the future) and change. Please do not change this road or block any of the lanes because traffic must keep moving and your broken down bicycle is not important to remain there standing. I will run you over if you do not get out of my way faster. I like to speed through the stop signs because freedom is my right and we should never tolerate the tyranny of the fascist police. Please arrest those hippies that J-walk and don't stay put on the sidewalk. People who walk slowly - in a crosswalk that is about to change - are morons. We are the machines that our parents dreamed of. We have acheived much more than the wilderness of the past. We are no longer afraid of things and we are not penalized by nature: only because we have invented dominating technologies. We are no longer the servants of the rich because we all drive around in our own castles. Please support the government funded study into how to remove the trauma from the minds of car accident victims - so that one day they can get on with their lives and drive again. Live to park another day. Pay the meter because that is what taxes are for. Please remember that private property is not in the middle of the road but we will still shoot you for tresspassing. If you walk on the sidewalk of a private property - and then, slip on a banana peeel - then you should sue the landowners. Please don't forget that if we kill you with our car it is only an accident. If you are injured in a car crash then you may be entitled to compensatory damage cost reimbursments and money for your time and energy... and, we will totally buy you a newer faster car. Please remember that the car is the best thing we have ever invented and that it is our way of life... and by refusing to drive one you are making yourself second class... and you should stop complaining. Please stop complaining.

The only issue we should really be worrying about is the warming of the polar ice caps and how the grand conspiracy against the electric car has prevented us from driving the hybrid at an affordable price in our own cities. I think that the sooner we all buy greener cars then the faster we can get back to driving. The tailpipe is the only place of the car that is going to pollute. If we cut off the tailpipe then the car is going to be a clean car. If we cut off the tailpipe then we will save the world and al gore will finally get to be the president. I want to fuck your car in the tailpipe. I want to jizz all over the robot. The robot is the jizz that paints the road lines in that thick white reflective paint that is so damn sexy. We put a sign in the sidewalk crosswalk to warn the pedestrians to please bumpernuts!!!

Please. We are all in this together and when you grow up you will also have to be driving a car to your job at the guns factory making the weapons that prot3ct us and our freedom to have a way of life where every driveway is public and the parkade is subsidised in thwe interests of equality in the community. I got a ticker tape ticket parade for speeding. My iraqi behemoth is the smallest car on the pblock. Knock your car off. The police budget needs new cars. The police are going to be driving their cars tonight again. So you can feel safer. Personally I like the metal cowcatcher on the front of the hoodf. I feel it is important to remind the pedestrians about the war on terrorism. I am going to build a better car with bigger wheels. My nuts are like 12 feet high and my feet are damn big and they know what you say about a man with a small penis. The larger it gets, the more money he will be making. The lasytip laser is not the frequency of the commute but the space between the curbs. I have to go now. I have to go to wark. I haf to gote in my new automobile that was given to me buy the insurance setlesment.

The last time I was walking the street. I saw the dead birds and the cats underneath of my tires. But the biggest car is better for clearing thre people out of the way. Isn't it beautiful how the sympohony of the democracy has allowed only one citizen to make a big differance then. I want to be that big differance. I was the best. I want to be able to do that: I AM able now. I have to believe that I can go to work. The traffic is terrible but if I just wait until they privatise the translink again then we will all be happy. The bigger the road the cleaner and less corrupt the system of governance. I remember the last time I drove a car. It was raining and i didn't answer my cell phone because I didn't want to have to pause the movie. Please play this game.

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