Trying to look like you don't try.

No one can see you.

• The internet is a technical school teaching you to do nothing with your life. School of nowhere here we are. Welcome.

I'm not afraid. I'm always afraid.

The loss of everything you have ever been attached too is more and less hurtful than you would think it would be. More. And. Less.

There is a way you could swim forever out into the ocean and never come back. But drowning is supposed to be a very bad and painful way to go. Hypothermia I hear is pretty sweet, there is a natural narcotic effect to mean it is gentle. But I would rather die fighting if it were ever to come to that. Or fall out of an airplane.

So there was this guy and he had about 17 women lovers who all lived with him and had sex with him and each other. He never got any work done but then he was loaded and it was all bliss. And they had lots of happy babies and were all loved and supported and it was a biblical blisss. And the cult they started was the one that ended up taking over the planet and then everybody died... no, more than that because everyone always dies, eventually... what I mean to say is the human species went extinct due to this lesbian loving attachment parenting non violent communication cult.

So then this one goes up and down and round and round and the merri-go-round part is a bad hacked gmail account and a keylogger and a firefox spy plugin. All of these things collude to keep the insane person insane and prevent her (or him, we are equal opportunity these days and hysteria or hysterical historical histrionic personality disorder is something that only affects effectively about 80% of the femmes, or rather the dispersal pattern is equal to only about 4 out of 5 with it, are it, cunning I say...) from becoming truly in control of their facilities. I always thought about it but I never threatened to leave even. 13.5 years later. I took it all for granted for so much of the time. And yet...

What to do? Love a jerk. Don't reciprocate. Chip on the shoulder. Lots and lots of music forever and that is just the frozen version of the passionate physical broken hearted everything feelings.

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everybody does it. every day. grow old and die. alone. again and agina and again.

• communications breakdown

the

yes always the same. normal human. blame. anger. anger management. democratic man model of masculinity vs the master slave paradigm.

emotions are like a bowel movement, they have to happen. we shouldn't be telling our kids to not have 'em. What kind of a doctor is that. Reason is not the centre, reasonably speaking we are emotional beings. We must attach, attach, attach and play the alpha role.

except if it is a fully grown person in love. a man is not a child. a child can do no wrong. a child is the centre of it all.

It is easier to build strong children than to fix broken men sayeth frederick douglass. Therefore all kids must be bust free from any kind of the shackles of civilisation or encumberment that tarnishes the pure attachment of pure love. Then droppeth on the doorstep of capitalism to pull up the boot strapeth. Thus sayeth the hippie rebel stock market computer masters that have defied the evil to create a new material order.

Of things. Just more things. More and more, really.
   
ok you shoudl buy a smartphone then. so you can lose the use the internet less often.

physical and verbal and emotional and parental and imaginary and real abuse.

neglect it all just sit in front of the computer. just sit in front of the spring flowers. just damn the neighbour and be embarrassed who cares the only problem is your reputations

IF YOU FEEL ALONE BE ALONE

Togetherness and connection is my need. That is what I lack. That is what I drive away with a passion. That is what I yearn for. I need. I observe. I feel. My clear request that is not a demand is that YOU SHOULD always never nitpick your nose because the cuts on our face are there to be exploited for the rest of our piss bowl made of stainless steel. But now even that is sexy to me because I have nothing and am nothing.

I was not on the same page. I was surprised. I should write coherently for once so that I could read this and remember what was going on in my life by not just the date and a guess about the odd emotional cuecard. In private.

Fakebooooooock

booooooeeeeeeeeks at the library are so many overdue but some are the last you would know about. Some are just the generic title so how can you find it cuz it's mixed with 884 other children'tssss boooeeeekz.

B00!

Don't get mad, get even. Don't get mad, blame yourself. Don't blame, have a spiritual connection where needs are requested joyfully giving you my receiving as a gift. So there you spies can keep the pace to pave with moi. Syphilitic outbrerak of the wurst kynd. Only in the back feild where you must pay to camp with cash not credit card.

Wrtite to parks canada parks BC that the typos are jus too mush.

No one can stop me. Now. Let go of love to gain it. Play the game to prove you are mature enough to not be thought of as the one who is caught up in trivial games. Be super.

I am the author of my own demise. That means I can fix it, right? write? right?