7.3.04

BEGIN march 7 2004 - oh my god I hate birthdays I am such a grumpyeurpuss




I don't think that is the right attitude young man. That is unappreciative and ingrateful!
Here is another fucking popcorn machine. Here is some mint chocolate. Here is a huge pile of god damn super gifts. A bike, a trailer, a bunch of lights, a bag of bud, some books, a fancy pipe, crayons and a newsprint scratch pad, a mirror... Another T-shirt.

Fuck the hell off! Why do people not listen to me. They want to give me all this stuff with their hard earned money that I don't need. They don't want to listen to what I say I need. They are not interested in that. I spew so much nonsense all the time that nobody listens to me seriuously. Disempowering in a way. On the other hand now that I get to play the fool I guess I can say anything.

I really ought to join the fools society.

Holy fuck you motherfucking baby fucker. The passion of the blood. bloodtvurst. the copyright is the law so don't question. Don't you want the compensation? Don't you want the fair use. The fair use is gone. The last thing we knew was the dead death of the dying dayloight and the wexploding cars under the pool table. What do you want to go to today asshole? Wheree are you going with me todfay? Whaer is the shit lick fuck hole fagoot. Fagggg!!! You are burned at the steak. Stakes are high. Powems wick waawya the sweat from thee surface of thee body. Tomahawk hcowboyuse riding across the desert dreams. Frires burning in the sunset the last buffalo we ate for breakfast. The sands are growing and enveloping the earth. The Ice melts and the water warms and the Ice will not come back to freeze again. We are now driving so fast that everything is blur. the wheels are getting hot and the body of the vehicle is vibrating. The vibrations get loder and loder and the speeed increases but the gas pedal is still pressed against the floor and the tachometer keeps climbing slowly.

And they are what to fuck the cars. And they all want to be the cars. They all want to have their death on television. The cause equals the time. Seperation is devine. They all want to love their cars. They all need to be the cars. They all want to fuck the cars. Fuck the cars in the tailpipe with a hard throbbing cock inside the brittle rusty steel tube. We all love the cars.

The Car is now exploding and rolling and spinning with Shiva the dance that destroys the universe. The words are all empty and everything means everything. The lo0ve is the hate and the hate is the toothpaste painted on the housecoat exterior sitting in the bathtub combing your hair and mastrubating to the music. Drop the toaster in the water the hairdryer electric radio frys you and burns your body in the bathtub. The convulsions shake the water and the body contorts beyond what you thought you could do with it. But this is not your body anymore and the electricity takes over and your dance in the water is your last dance. Dance to explosion fire burning everywherre and the car explodes the vibrations are too much spinning over the cliff flying through the blus sky the doom is the most beautiful moment in the whole movie and you are dying but this is your apocolyptic purpose at least you are not meaningless and the maning you have is all important because your meaning is the death of the worldf and your armegeddom is terrible and it causes howling crying and the knashing of teeth in everybody it touches but you have the powere and the maning and the content.

The car is still burning but it has not stoppee. The car rolled and the car keeps driving because the wheels still spin and the road is still there. You are driving off into the distyance forwever and now the fire is sputtering out but the car still rockets forward still accellerating to infinity. Your friends are now charcoal logs of carbonised fleash stretched out in the agony of the death moment sitting beside you in the drivers seat but you are still driving. The gas pedal is down and the turn signal is broken but the highway goes on. Your death did not end the world. Your narcisitic fantasy of meaning on the highspeed death trap was over and wrong. You are not gone and the world keeps turning. The road stretches off and the asphalt under you is hotter and pore solid than your are no matter how hard a fist you are trying to make.

The striped line blinks on and off and you stay on the right side of the road. Vrooohm the wind in your hair is unbeleivable and keeps you focused. You are floating through time and their is no easy answer. You tried to drive the highway of fire and now your doom was a failure just like everything else in yours and my life. You turned to god in the last moment and the devil helped you burn it all down. Burn away the pain. Fuck away the evil. Happy with the chemical adrenaline high. But now it is over and you are still crashing and driving at the same time without the end in sight. God did not take you away to magic and your escape was only another attempt. Everyone around you is ahead and behind driving also forward and looking forward and not at ytou. They are all intently focused on themselves and do not notice how the fire burned your aposstry away from the car but the blackened and charred frame dripping molten hot plastic trails long drippy strings on the road behind you. They did not notice the way that your mind collapsed and you crashed and embraced the apocolypse. They did not notice the burning. They did not notice the recovery and the dying of the flame rebirth. They did not see how you were dissappointeed by the resurrection and you wished the crash was fatal. They did not notice because they are focused on themselves and are all doing the same thing. Some are burning right now as we speak. Some are already burned and have come through the whole ordeal and come through relatively healthy and unharmed. Some don't even know where they are headed too. Some are tumbling towards the burning and think that they are the first ones to do it ever that what they are thinking and seeing is new. But they all look ahead driving the same speed but always a little faster than their neighbour beside them. The traffic jam is racing ahead together. One beautifully synchronised long line of cars. You would think it was a long train everyone attached together because the highway moves as one unrelenting like one long solid snake winding through the open expanse of highway and into the tunnel and up into the city through the streets of the neightbourhoods and playgrounds never relenting always pushing ahead forging the new path behind the car in front and followed closely by a long line of the same brand of cars.
"Sometimes they yell into the cell phone after almost crashing and hurting somebody" Do not look back or get out and stop whatever you do talk to the pedestrian lying sprawled across the cement runway. Keep pushing ahead and lament into the cell phone talking to you father and best friend that the stranger is hurt but thank god the family is safe.

But you describe it as "Ohmiugawds! Shit That person, Us and them we all buy the CokeTM but you are not me and stay away from him he will get me into trouble just don't look at those people."

The cell phone has your vocabulary memorised and keeps statistics on the sucess of your conversation. You have used the words "sweet" and "how are you feeling" and "I see" and "yes" 37.5% of the conversation. The sucess was a sucess because you connected and used the right words. The "and" and the "the" word are used plus far too many "Umm..." 46.9% So you were uncertain and not a good business talker you will not make a lot of money from this converstation and you must lower this statistic and use more 'power speak' and 'enabling' talk if you expect to compete and win your peice of the pie in the jungle out there. But you and her, you also have failed because you said "no", "but, wait" and "question" 15.6% which is far too high a percentage and uncertainty is not permitted. Please report and turn yourself in to the nearest police station. Hopefully if you get enough royalties from the use of your patent word "HyperMegaGlobal" Then you can collect enough good words to pay for the bail and get out of jail.

she skipped to the end of the bible and handed it to her monkey named jimmy joe, "read" she pleaded the command.
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